Friday, August 8, 2008

Pre-Vacation Foreplay

Minds out of the gutter, people! I'm not going to talk about ACTUAL foreplay here. Rather, all the activities and tasks that one must accomplish before embarking on a two week jaunt to Europe. Yes, life is tough.

You see, there are so many things to do before leaving for vacation. Some people might find these tasks tedious. I, on the other hand, enjoy them. I'm so excited for the actual trip, but I like to enjoy the build up too. Each task reminds me of the reason why I'm doing it--so that we can sail around the Mediterranean! It is, you see, a kind of pre-vacation foreplay! Getting us primed for THE MAIN EVENT.

1. Go to USPS web site and ask them to hold our mail while we're away. Our mailbox is the size of a 1990's era cell phone, so it can barely hold a day's worth of mail, let alone two weeks worth.

2. Go to camera store and buy a brand-new digital SLR camera that you have no idea how to use properly. Let the nice Hasidic man at the counter convince we need several additional accoutrements to really do it up right.

3. Buy 'European vacation' clothing. This really can include anything you want. My rationalization skills have been finely honed.

4. Go to the bank and pick up Euros. The lady at the bank asked me if I'd like the last hundred's worth of Euros in smaller bills. I said yes, and you know what's great? Smaller bills really are, quite literally, smaller bills! The EU thought of everything!

5. Choose vacation reading. This is really the most critical of the pre-vacation foreplay. What you read while on vacation sets the tone. And it's so hard to decide. I'd like some lighter reading, but I also still want to still appear well-rounded and smart before my fellow passengers. Let's face it, your shipmates will glance at the book in your hands as they walk past you on the pooldeck. I know I do. Danielle Steel? Not talking to you at the Captain's Dinner! Shopaholic series? Not too much going on upstairs with you now, is there? A People's History of the United States? I'm asleep already, and I really can't believe that you aren't as well.

So tell me, what's YOUR favorite pre-vacation foreplay?